why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
