he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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