I'm passing your future prison.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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