When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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