do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
