I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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