in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
