we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
