I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
