shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
