He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and you fell through a lawn chair
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
