Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
