dude i'm inner monologue high
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
