If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
