it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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