Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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