This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
