My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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