Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
