A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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