i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
