i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
