I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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