Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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