Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
