shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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