giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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