Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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