I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
