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you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
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