my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.