Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm just crazy horny about you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.