3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
