belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
