It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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