Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
