I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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