Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

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(613): View more from Ontario

New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

(1-613): View more from Ontario

We are no longer friends.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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(408): View more from California

just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.

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(756): View more from

i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha

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