This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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