just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
