i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
