the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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