I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
