I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
