It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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