We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
