I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
