my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
