I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
