:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
