fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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