I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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