Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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