New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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