420 ftw
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
