I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
