Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize