i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
