We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
